song of the week: albert king, the sky is crying
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcMNB36_SuM
honourable mention:
1. sam brown, stop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muDZD3wgoHI
boy what a terrific voice
2. joe bonamassa, stop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMXXnLSRdBE
i actually do think about stuff that i want to remember about this blog and i write them down so that when i get some time i can properly record them. it kinda gives me something to look forward to as well. so that's alright.
but there usually takes a triggering event before i blog. today it's somewhat in the shape of studying alone in school. but i've been thinking about the people i hang with the past few days.
Part 1.
sometimes, i think, life is kinda like a channel 8 serial. the love triangles and what have you. attendant to which, the relevant and differing degrees of knowledge, actual and constructive.
but i think the hinting-ness and the slight suggestiveness and the changes in attitude (from friends to interests) are the funnier stuff. not funny per se, but certainly interesting, certainly intriguing.
and i sit and watch and i observe and i make mental notes, as i always do. but i do so impartially, i do so without judgment, and i do so with a chuckle and a nod. i try even to keep the last of those concealed. and i like to root for people. conversely, i get quite sad when i think there's two boys who like one girl, or a girl who likes another boy.
and sometimes i do so with a sigh. there's very little i can do, there's even less i should do, if at all, and there's almost nothing i want to do when i'm involved in some way. sometimes i worry about being involved, i worry about being liked, i worry about messy. oh, what a reveal. but it's true, i don't deny it.
and i really, i really think, love, between a boy and a girl, wonderful as it is, fantastic, extraordinary, God-given (or not), and ineffable, is neither necessary, nor sufficient.
it's not that everyone's wrong about this and that i'm right, it's that in all our instinctive and passion-driven striving for romantic love, i think people, i think we, over-esteem romantic love.
maybe it's the flipside... being alone and sad, that fearfully drives us. may God keep this fear far from me.
but the least i can say is that... boys become so strange when they're chasing a girl. i can't say i like them when they're like that. maybe it's just me, but i find it really annoying when boys act differently when they chase girls, as opposed to how they usually act. i'm only going to say one thing - casual possessiveness. it seems like an objectively permissible thing for another boy to do, but it's a pet peeve of mine. i'm allowed to have pet peeves. like, people shaking their head at me. i intensely dislike that.
i suppose as opposed to casual possessiveness, the boy should offer his interest, and the girl should choose. that way, everybody's happy. then all suitors get a chance, the girl gets to decide, and all's fair. it shouldn't be about time and space, i.e. who happens to get more time with the girl in general social company. if it does, i suppose, too bad, and history will record the winner's story.
the loser will be sad, i suppose, but really, if it came down to time and space constraints, well, we look forward to a higher love, a 'meant to be' kinda love, even a romantic one. besides, time and space works both ways. heh, that's relatively consoling.
but i acknowledge that girls don't like to be offered to by boys unless they're good friends, i.e. have had time and space with a positive tending result. which makes for interesting and head-scratching dynamics.
but like i've said. finding the right one is the least important thing to worry about. however, if you want to know what i mean, well, it's not that it's not important. on the contrary, the more important something is, the less i want to worry about it. but that's because i've got someone watching over me, and his name is Jesus.
and for the record, i'm not talking about myself. this is what i think in general when one boy likes one girl who spends more time in another boy's company.
Part 2.
whatever people say about Thio Li-ann (i've got the name right), i really like listening to her lecture. funny, smart, cheeky, but not arrogant. i thought, what a talent (and force) she is. i realised that i started to wish her longevity in her field, like, so more would appreciate her. and i thought of jimi hendrix, and stevie ray vaughan. and i realised that people really cherish outstanding flameouts. that people who blazed, even for only a while, were very much more cherished because their time was so short-lived. and i wondered about the uncountable invisible numbers forgotten after their passing, outstanding or not, forgotten nonetheless, due to ill luck or whatever, and i thought it was good that we do cherish (outstanding) people who die (young). we celebrate them for being fantastic, because a glimpse of something wonderful can leave such a remarkable impression. and we tell the stories to others, and to the next generation, and the stories carry so much.
Part 3.
i must have been rather inspired listening to Thio Li-Ann. anyway i thought of how there are parallels between writing and playing music. it's so hard to write a good essay unless you know what your thesis is. mere descriptiveness, rhetoricism, making bald statements, all the bad habits they point out, ultimately stem from lack of the 'eureka'. it's the same when playing a guitar, both technically and thematically. basically, a solo part should have a story to tell, that explains the song. everything else are just bad habits covering up for the lack of a musical thesis. as in, you can play something that fills up the gap between words, or you can augment the song, interpret the song, counterpoint the song.
Part 4.
i've been counting the number of times i think of sex in a day. and it roughly works to about two (if we consider a long period as basically singular). so it's actually true, men do think about sex in the course of a day. and these thoughts are sneaky thoughts. as in they sneak up on me.
