i always say that mistakes should be cherished.
but lately i've been wondering why i regret getting angry, as in, getting angry during frisbee.
i know, i know. there are lots of reasons, and very good ones, why i shouldn't get angry, which is why i've always said i'd try my best not to get angry.
and i don't really know the answer. i just don't know why i get angry so much. but thinking about it, it stems a lot from having a godfather mentality, a coach mentality. a lot of my anger and irritation springs from not being, well, respected, obeyed, revered. with immediacy. or when things slip out of my grasp. i always think, no matter how angry i get, i can play angry. but i also know it's really hard on people.
sigh.
i think i need to change this mentality.
i think it's not too late.
the funny thing is i'm such a nice guy when i'm not being 'tough' during a game.
it's this being tough and all that's my excuse for having all that anger...
and people can't tell when i'm really angry and when i'm being tough
that's a real problem...
i'm going to try and... just. i dunno.
so much of sport that inspires me drives me to competitiveness, to toughness.
rick barry - http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1120767/index.htm
jerry west - http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1085774/1/index.htm
it's so hard to catch myself, to not let my tough instincts take over, because i rely so much on them.
but i'm going to try.
God, i need to know how.
Thank you.
