http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDLSpIw6Qvw
the general problem with trying to write a juris paper is that there is so much to read. but the thing is that each of these authors are trying to tell a complete and coherent story. and each of these guys are really, incredibly meticulous, structurally sound and persuasive. the tricky part is to consider which account you prefer to which other account. but that's when the magic stops. literally. you're reading to refute and not to believe, you're reading to catch only the relevant portions. you miss the forest for the trees, the elephant for the trophy tusks. and that is when the sum of the story is less than its individual parts. and really, that's tragic. because each of these guys had spent years of their lives considering meta-stories of life and the philosophy of society, politics and law. and to meet them halfway is horrible. how many authors can you think of who dare to write head-to-tail accounts of something fundamental to life, social arrangement and belief, from their own perspective? can you even think of one of your beloved authors who poured out their lives in magnum opuses, not least in response to such other masterpieces written by their most esteemed colleagues, scholars of the highest order, and we dare pick their bones and call them out for theoretical trivialities? oh for shame!
but each of these guys knew what they were in for, conceptually, analytically, substantively and normatively. it was not cut and thrust to them, no mere squabble, no linguistic sparring, no, this was the real stuff. as for us, we are more than lawyers. i always say that. i once told my friend, when she was seriously working (well, being worked) too much, that she was more than a doctor. we are more than lawyers, to us words are more than skills. words are the overflow not just of our minds, but also our hearts. and taking juris has taught me that i am more than a lawyer, maybe more than a legal scholar. i don't take it as an elitist feeling. to me everyone should take juris. i know many don't like it. i guess if justifying your beliefs and actions aren't important to you, then you'll find your own paths in life. i don't mean this as reproach, i mean this as a call-out. maybe there are more important things to worry about, practical things, defending the innocent. but juris for me is about stories and meta-stories. and stories are the stuff of human existence.
Morgan Freeman (from the movie Se7en, 1996): "Gentlemen, gentlemen... All these books, a world of knowledge at your fingertips, and you play poker all night."
Library Guard: "We've got culture! We've got culture comin' out our asses!
i was thinking just now about how i relate really well with children, i open up to 'em and listen to 'em and treat them as people. they find it funny. i don't know why i don't relate to people like that. part of me is worried about being too effusive or charming. part of me knows that some people will put some kind of label on me, kind or unkind, and i'm kinda against that sort of thing. i guess really, i don't want to show my weak side to people, and when i'm around children i can show my strong and good and cheerful side all the time, and that puts me at ease. it's the... kizuki effect (norwegian wood - the part where naoko knows about kizuki's strong and weak side, the latter of which he tries to hide). not wanting to appear vulnerable, not wanting to show my weak side, and then my independence, has made me withdrawn in a way. maybe that's why i'm so good at entertaining people. maybe that's why they think i'm weirdly withdrawn. it's a dynamic (well there's nothing dynamic about it) that i think some people manage to understand. but i'm sure it's, or i'm, puzzling to others.
either way, i don't really care, because i'm such a genuine person. haha. what a terrible thing to say.
anyway, at the moment things are neither here nor there. i don't really mind things as they are. of course it's not easy seeing her once a week. i stand by what i say, things could go well or things could go badly. they haven't come to a head, but again i'm not in a hurry. that's not accurate, i mean that things beyond my control aren't in a hurry and i don't really mind. it's very norwegian wood. oh! my life has been written out in a wonderful little book.
