CCXXIV - describing Messi

I don't believe it is possible to describe Messi in a way which would do him justice. To be fair, it is not easy to do that for just about any thing at a deep enough philosophical level, but in Messi's case, I think you would pardon me for waxing just a little more so. Many have tried, at all levels, and to a man all admit failure, having come up with varying degrees of dumbness, shaking of heads, and hand, or hands, clasped to the skull. But after all, what is so difficult about describing one man, one left foot, and one ball, one field, one goal, one teammate after another? Well, the difficulty is that Manet also had one easel, Socrates, one voice, Newton, one apple, the Christ, one cross, etc. Let us perhaps say that Messi is super-phenomenal. I suspect it is easier to describe the ideal of a certain kind of football, exemplified by say the rondo that Barça practices, than it is to describe how Messi expresses his vision of football. That is itself an unbelievable statement, but it is true. Messi is simply bigger than a concept. Even by slow-motion video replay, it is impossible to re-capture what he senses, re-perceive what he sees, re-create what he creates. To be Messi. I do not believe anyone can even be said to be Messi-like.

The hilarious thing is that one's first impression of Messi, is like, oh, he's probably just a misplaced tourist, or a cook, or a tv-man, or something. They don't make statues out of little men, and this one's tiny - they once called him La Pulga, or The Flea. Oh, do not doubt it, Messi is hilarious - appalled laughter comes naturally to one ill-accustomed to watching him un-man, with contemptuous, consummate, consumptuous ease, other men. And these are grown men, first-rate defenders.

It may however do some justice to the idea of Messi to reproduce here a few of my favourite quotes about him:

"Messi is the only player who runs faster with the ball than he does without it."

- Jorge Valdano

Comment: This is impossible. This is true. Both statements are correct. Messi is the middle space in the diagram of two circles.

"The ball, to use the old cliché, really does seem to be tied to his feet. He doesn't even seem to kick it most of the time: like a faithful dog, it just runs alongside him."

- Sid Lowe

Comment: What Lowe means is that next to Messi, the ball is the smartest dog taking the sensiblest route with the steadiest feet and the softest nose and the slightest bark.

"There's a special part of Messi's brain allowing him to see the split-second chaos of football in his own personal super slow motion."

- Carles Puyol

Comment: This is a self-evident truth, such as those Jefferson preferred: all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

"We can talk for hours about schemes and organization. But games are won by players. If you have Messi you almost start 2-0 up."

- Max Allegri

Comment: This is a slight understatement - three-nil (which is probably closer to the truth) is not almost two-nil.