i was looking through this blog a while ago, looking for something reassuring, something of me that was comforting to read. and i thought that i couldn't find it. i looked for something that would show me my character, yet it was strange that i'd be looking for it in my words. maybe i wasn't in the mood. but it reminded me that this blog is not like that, or even impliedly for that. these are my reflections.
song of the week: rolling stones, wild horses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhVLiHPUOIM
this is the loveliest song in the world to me.
i often wish that i was reading norwegian wood again. it's something i want to forget and to read again, for ever and ever.
i think that reading the bible again has made me... calmer. i don't think it's more than that for now. i don't think i've ever forgotten anything the bible has ever taught me. but i do think that i've been following a slightly different path for a very long time. and time with God is... right. in my heart. i'm more skeptical of the bible and i think it is better to be that way than to always be absorbing information without making it truly yours. there was a time when i really loved bible words, but somehow the etchings have slowly eroded off my heart. well... i guess i'll dust them off abit.
i think that i listen to old songs to... go on. there's for me a profound sense of sadness, although not a deep one, in being alone, and thinking about it once in a while, that is very quieting and vaguely empty. i read an old blog that i wrote about the girl i thought i first loved, and the feelings remained the same. no end in sight, just open, open, ocean. i don't complain about it, and i don't have anything to. moving on seems further from stuff but not nearer to anything, which is a shade wistful to me.
i don't like to be emo, and i don't think i am. seasons change, and feelings. that's all, i guess. sometimes couldn't be better is the truth that covers my dreams. and dreams are... whatever they want to be.
and freedom, oh freedom,
well that's just some people talking,
your prison is walking through...
