song of the week: coldplay, the scientist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWLpTKBFcU
it's sobering to know that i am not immune to regretting my mistakes. it sucks to know, actually. it sucks to know.
"... the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."
life is different in this light. i'm not sure if i'm good or bad, if i'm the cure or the disease. i'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing, by other people, by me, by whatever.
this is a season of, of all things, regret. it becomes harder to ask, what is the meaning of all this? as if i had lost the right to do so, to live as if i were finding it out.
i was playing this song driving home last night. and i know, you know, i know they say that life is incomparable to the hereafter, life now is like pigs in mud, etc. but whatever happens, at least we were once alive, i think for goodness' sake that everyone deserves to say that with dignity.
and i was driving home and i wished that you were around, dl. i wish that i could share a bit of the world with you. it's not that bad in the right places. it's not even that bad in the wrong places.
i'll try not to screw it up abit more.
