XCIII - that hollow feeling

i'm screwed, really. i can't go ten minutes without thinking about you, and when i do, i realise that i'd rather be doing that than focusing on whatever it is i'm doing. and so i close my eyes and let my thoughts drift, picturing you, remembering the things we laugh at, your scent, your little features i sneak glances at. and i think i'm trying to remember the feeling of being in love, for the first time, to actually be dreaming about a girl, and not have it feel foolish or futile. time gets that hollow feeling when i think about you. sometimes i feel really excited and sometimes i feel really dreamy.

and it occurs to me that maybe this won't happen, for whatever reason. i'm at least that much realistic, although i couldn't oh gosh i guess i couldn't think about that right now, so i leave it out of my mind. at any rate my heart beats on and it almost beats for you right now. sigh i didn't mean for it to be so dramatic or anything, but there you go. if it goes bad, i know it wasn't meant to be.

"If I had gone to Hwa Chong, I might have met my wife in junior college, and we might never have become an item down the road. You know, sometimes when you meet people too early, or in a different time and a different place, things would not work out."

- Prof Tan Cheng Han