i remembered a conversation i had a year ago, or maybe two years ago, with an old friend. she asked me, does seeing her hurt?
it was something like that, something to that effect. i can't remember the exact words of that line. but i remember saying, after a long (and at the time, meaningful, well i thought so) pause, i said, it does when i think about it.
and she said, well, then you should stop thinking about it.
and at the time i laughed. or at least i smiled, and i think i would have smiled bravely. but the point is that i didn't listen, and at the time i was sure that listening would be stupid.
but she knew better. i admit.
and you knew. you always knew. somehow i always believed but you always knew.
i don't hold anything against anyone for it, it's just how things are. and it's not my place to at all.
maybe you could never explain to me how you always knew, but i'm sure i could never explain to you how i always believed.
