i dreamt that i had a girlfriend. but i'm not saying who.
i usually hate dreams that are nice and then when you wake up it turns out it's false. like i think i dreamt of good grades before. hmmph.
but i didn't mind waking up this time to find out that it wasn't real.
even though i'd admit to wishing... nvm.
i hate signs.
no more than i hate flying cockroaches.
and i'm quite sick of losing my temper.
but not all's bad. i'm almost completely at peace right now, thankfully. it has to do with some thinking and worrying, some time, some determination not to emo, some news, some gossip, some word, some realisation, some surrender, some thankfulness, some acceptance, some reappropriation of the situation, some recognition of self-worth, ditto that of others', some blessed peace. in other words, a dry run of exactly how much it took to strip my peace away, and how long it took before it came back. i think i passed, but it was almost phyrric.
it makes me afraid, it makes me feel tired, jaded. when will the next test come, what must i endure to overcome it. in relief, i am weary of being exposed, alone.
but this is my weakness.
what was it, again?
as a weary man who wants to take life slowly, i wonder if i've learnt my lesson.