do you ever wonder what you were in a past life?
i think about it all the time.
i've narrowed it down to about three. it could be more, but for now three is plenty.
i was either a guitar player in a hard rock band, an italian (gotta be italian) motorcycle racer, or a philosopher. maybe a student of nietzsche. i could have been any one of these, and perfectly so.
conversely, if i could have a dream job, i might be a motorcycle racer, a stunt pilot, or an nba coach. but i'm not really in it for the dream though, long or short term. i'm a lawyer. that's it. in many ways i feel it's the right thing for me.
like i always think, it's funny how everything works out in my life, except girls. and the funny thing is that it's not a general problem, but a great tragedy. it is, as at this reckoning, merely dramatic - it is but a great tragedy. you know how sometimes you know that what you're doing is right, no matter what the ostensible result, present or future, is? that that is more important than the adversity of loneliness and dejection and self-pity? i mean when i look at it, some days are easier than others, some not so much. but i feel in my heart that i can't change the way i live. it's... bad luck, tragedy, self-realisation and providence. i don't need answers anymore, because nowadays i just haven't the old questions. things are, and are, and are.
it is not only that things are as they were meant to be; the person i am is also as it was meant to be.
