beyond good and evil is a very strange book. but at least it's honest - it does read like "a prelude to a philosophy of the future", it seems to want the reader to know that it's only laying some groundwork. it's radical though. i'm not sure it should be allowed... if ever i've read what might be a banned book, this would be it. besides that, i wouldn't say i understand half the things nietzsche writes about, except when he talks about a few ideas i've been thinking about, like say, the moral viewpoint, or the solitude of philosophers, or the inanity of general society. but here's the really cool thing about this book - on the one hand it has complete disregard for everything ever written, and on the other hand it (well, he) is quite, quite erudite. somewhere in there an incredibly smart man is rebelling against everything we know, and the passion with which he writes is terrifying.
i'm quite glad murakami hasn't won the nobel prize yet, actually. i think iq84 doesn't merit it. it's no one hundred years of solitude, let me tell you that. but the thing is, in no way does him not winning the nobel make him less of an author to me. i love him.
the new guitar that i got is really nice, really nice. the feel of the fretboard is good, you know what i mean? your hand just wants to wrap languidly around its neck, your fingers just want to glide and prance on its frets. i always want to pick it up and make guitar sounds come out of it. just pluck away and let the notes ring true. yes.
you know, it's strange to me how since coming out of jc, i've often in my life found pockets of time to do all the things i want. part b is just another example. i think this course is terrible. i loved reading law in nus, but this course is like an O-level year. which is really stupid, don't you think? i mean we're well and truly educated now, and we're reduced to studying for an exam which is "muggable". i despise it. to me it detracts from reading law like an adventure, like a goddamn rabbit-hole. well, anyway, this course has given me bundles, oodles, nay, spadeloads of free time. and i think this much will stay with me for a long time, i.e. the afternoons spent after lunch playing tennis with zy before class. it felt right to do things like that, you know? to be young again, not a goddamn care but making sure the little green fuzzy ball goes to the other side. afternoon sun, sweaty, cussing out every goddamn thing, but having fun like kids. yes, these were the best of times.
more than a year has passed since my good friend dl passed away. like the character in murakami's book, i do think about him less, although i still picture what he looks like quite well. most of the angst has gone too. i still don't want to listen to certain songs, like brothers in arms. in a little corner of my heart a little candle burns away for dl. i hope that when i die i will just disappear. i don't want anybody to be sad.
i have come to think of solitude as the only thing on earth i know of which provides increasing returns. what is a little bit more interesting is in the possible evolution of how i look at people and friends. whatever other phases i've been through, and i think people generally do too, in being selective about their friends, etc., i think i'm at the waning end of the disdainful, disparaging phase. not that i necessarily will come out of this phase, but it is interesting to me, that maybe i won't look at people as if i want them to understand me, to be kindred in heart, mind and spirit. it is perhaps, impossible, a posteriori. therefore i am alone and all the better for accepting it, but in a more expansive and also correspondingly in a more detached way i am more compassionate to my friends. that is, interesting, isn't it?
